Lost in Trust

I don't know anything about friendship anymore.
I suddenly feel like a useless puppet again.
An amateur starting anew.

Why? Why do people make things so complicated?
Why do they have to go out of the way to make things complex?
Why can't everything just be simple and nice?
Why do they have to hurt when they can please?
Why do I cry when I can smile?
Why do they betray when they can be loyal?

I don't get it.
Its so complicated.
This world is so complicated.
Compare life to my textbooks, I'd rather read the textbooks all over again from page 1.
They are so much easier.

I don't know who to trust anymore.
My best friend is just a simple close friend. I know that now.
My close friend is my best friend who does not pay much attention to me.
My other best friend became my close friend and now is only a friend who I can never relate to.
And my last best friend disappointed me. I don't even know who she is now.

Who am I anyway?
Does anyone even truly care about me?
Is it worth it, putting my trust in even one person?
Where are you God?
Tell me.
Is it only you that I can trust?
Can I not trust the other creations you made?

I'm hurt and beyond disappointed.
I need Your presence.
I need Your presence in someone else for me.
I can't go on like this.
I need You.