Unexpected Encounter

Ugh. I dislike things that are unexpected.

Cause they frighten me and I'm not sure if I'll be able to take 'em on.

Yes, call me a coward. I don't mind.

I've already acknowledged that fact.

Cherie you're so nice :)

I never knew and I misjudged you. I know you're not lying.

Cause to me, everyone lies about who they really are.

I know because I do and I know so many other people who do too.

Thanks for saying what you did.

You made me feel good about myself for just that moment.

That I wasn't tossed aside in that school after all.

That some people actually care and like me for who I am.

Thanks. Really. ILY :)

Another unexpected thing happened and its things that happened in my dreams.

I know dreams don't really come true.

But when you have these dreams- or me, specifically- it usually happens in a beat-around-the-bush way in reality.

I keep dreaming about guys now. Its soo weird.

Bloggy you understand right?

But those guys don't like-like me, they're my friend.

Okay. Yeah. Like my really close friend,

like the kind of friend who would do just about anything for you that I haven't had so far.

It felt good.

But.

Damn it all, I woke up. So yeah. Wish I could've slept forever.

I hate reality.

You wake up, get busy, and you do all sorts of things that make you feel exhausted and tired at the end of the day because they totally fill up your schedule.

Every last bit of it.

I hardly have time to have fun anymore or to smile and laugh at jokes or crack jokes.

I have this stern and emo face that people keep pointing out.

But to me, that's just a face to conceal my real emotion.

I'm sad and lonely and tired.

I want and need someone to revive me. To make me new again.

I'm not dead. And I know I'm not dying physically but I feel like I'm wilting on the inside.

I need something.

Anything.

Anybody.

Spice me up.

Glad?

Glad that I'm busy.

Busy enough to get any problems rid off.

I dislike too much drama.

But being busy is just so tiring.

Guess everything has its pros and cons.

Still, I prefer it this way.

I would work until I can't move a single inch any longer.

Until the day I die :)

Swaying Heart

I keep telling myself to forget about you.

But just a simple word from you,

will turn all my hard convincing to vain.

Why won't you leave me alone?

You know we won't last.

And I'm not worth your wait.

I'm so, so sorry.

Because even though I know this will hurt you,

I still went on with it.

I know you'll never forgive me.

But I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.