Shit. Shit shit shit shit SHIT.
I've never been so fucked up in so long.
I'm so angry. I need to stop but I can't stop.
Why can't I stop?
Because stopping would mean the end of another friendship.
And if it does happen, would it be my fault this time?
And what of it?
Should I be guilty of it?
Was it even my fault in the first place?
Okay fine so I shouldn't have decided to hunt for a person like him in the first place.
I should have stopped when I felt the boundary.
But I didn't. Is it wrong to want to experience something new?
The problem is this; not because of what or who exactly he turned out to be.
But what she did to me knowing I wouldn't like it. Knowing that I SERIOUSLY wouldn't like it.
And right now the fact that some already annoying guy destroyed the plan I had for my best friend's birthday isn't helping either.
I'm so mad I can kill a chicken right now (Yes, that bad.)
Can I?
Who would sponsor?
I'm so tired of feeling all these emotions. It has been since the beginning of the month! I've been through it for more then 20 days now it's a real torture.
This is one of those problems that you just can't fix on short notice.
It's why I'm still here. Fretting about things I shouldn't.
I'm about to cut all connections myself if things don't clear up soon.
And when I do,
Things aren't going to be pretty.
