I feel old saying this.. I really do. Haha.
But I'm almost at the end of my high school journey.
I just have to persevere until the end and do my very best. (Which I hope I can do, honestly. Because, quite frankly, I'm already starting to get very stressed.)
For now, I can safely say that although I've been through so much crap,
it has been a good and wonderful journey.
All through that whining and being depressed and pitying myself,
I've learned how to really pick myself up again after I fall.
I realize that it really is no use to continue dwelling on something and not doing anything.
The best thing to do is to stand up and face the problem to fix it or I leave it behind as it is, learn from my mistakes, and move on.
I've also learned a little more about what a true friend is really like.
You know how they always say that a true friend is someone you can talk about anything and be comfortable about it? About how they are always there when you need a shoulder to cry on? How they are there through your ups and downs?
Well, they are half right.. and half wrong. At least to me, I think that's true.
Most friends are there. They always are. But when you face something that will cause a negative impact, they tend to pretend they don't know. Until you finally work up the courage to tell them, then they will listen.
And yet, when you tell them about your problem, they can't help much. They don't say much.
It's not like how it is in the movies.
In real life, it's like talking to walls.
And after enough encounters of these things, I realize that trusting in them just isn't good enough.
There will never.. and I really mean.. NEVER be a really true good friend.
There isn't one. It's not possible.
So I learn to stop hoping for one. Cause I know it ain't gonna happen.
So I leave it behind; I pick myself up; and I move on.
Yes, that is often the process I take to.
I acknowledge that God can really only be the true friend. The One that isn't in flesh. Who is always loyal. Who loves unconditionally and always forgives. And who's always there for us whenever we need Him...
THAT'S the true friend. The most true friend you can ever find.
Finally, I don't know if it's a curse or anything.. (hopefully not)
But it seems like the people I have a crush on are always.. taken.
Yeah. I always don't know when I first start to like them if they do or don't have a girlfriend.
Then I find out later.
And it ends. Just like that.
All the time.
I don't think I ever want to be married..
Haha.
But hey. In my defense, I still have a long way to go in that department.
The love department, that is.
I'm not sure if I ever want to go down that line.. Because if friendship is already that hard..
I can't imagine what being in a serious relationship would be like.
There are so many different types of people in the world.
I honestly don't know if I'll even end up with someone.
I guess that's one of the many miracles that God performs. He is perfect.
What I learned most from high school that I really appreciate is the existence of this God.
And Jesus Christ.
I want to be in love with them more.
I yearn for it.
God I love you.
Hallelujah,
