Well, I'm back. After God knows how long. Haha. Many things have changed; spiritually, emotionally, maybe even physically. I don't actually know where I'm headed right now. I know we all don't really know for sure, but now I'm just really anxious because it seems there isn't a way I can help myself feel better about the situations that I'm stuck in.
Graduating high school is great. And being in college is good. But I don't know how I'm supposed to go on now. The good friends I made in the past don't seem to be anywhere near as good as I thought they were. I still feel as if I'm putting way too much effort only to be given almost nothing in return. I feel unappreciated by my friends, and I know that they probably really don't care. But its not as if I can do anything about that anyway ... I can't control their wants and their needs; but then what do I do? What is there left for me to do but to just shut up and move on in my all consuming torture of silence?
My head hurts, and I'm angry today. I don't recall another time before that math has made me so livid. I am anxious of the coming AS exam. I'm not sure if I can achieve the marks I should if I keep going on like this. I don't understand but I want to. And yet, even if I try I still don't get it. I thought there should always be a way when there's a will?
... I feel as if I'm losing the light in my life. My family is not encouraging, rather demeaning me. My friends can't give a shit about me. My studies are not as encouraging as they used to be. I'm left with nothing but to accept all the horrible things that are happening to me, and to hope for better blessing in the years to come.
