Irony Strikes. Again.

Hi. Just in case you wouldn't know, this post is related to the one before.
What is wrong with me and my timing? Seriously? Or are things always just fated to be this way?
Failure for life?

I don't know.

Just when I started falling for him, he gets a girlfriend.
So I thought, you know, fine. I lost my chances. So I'm gonna give up.
and just when I'm determined enough to totally give up on him,
he breaks up with her.

WTF.
FML.

If we're all just playing in this stupid game,
I want it to stop.
I don't want to be the person he'll just use to keep himself from being downright depressed.
To run from the reality that he'd just broken up with the one he really has feelings for.
I hate being a replacement.
I always have.
I hated being a replacement for my friend's best friend.
This is no different either.

Sigh.
Will I always be just second best?

Vent?

Hi. There's one and only one reason why I came to blog here today.
Sigh. I wonder, really, when the time will come for me to meet HIM. The one.
I'm kind of pained.
Everyday I see him, happy, sad, scared, elated, angry, joyful.
But all with her.
But its not like I can hate her though.
She's so nice, so pretty, so soft-hearted...

I really don't know what I should feel so I just let it go.
And I know time can heal anything.
So I'm just waiting.
But its still there.
It is going away I guess... but so torturingly slow that it still hurts almost as much as it did before.

And when he doesn't hate me or doesn't feel disgusted with me,
Its like he's giving me false hope.
And I get little of these hopes everytime, only to be crushed to the ground again,
I know I should give up.
I already have.
But its still there.
I can't help it.

I need to get over him.
But he keeps appearing in front of me everyday and I can't help but not get over him.
Sigh.

And he's not even that handsome. Or cool.

Dreams

Dreams.

It makes you wonder, doesn't it?
How it is supposed to help in the future..
If you might even get to succeed at what you're dreaming on and on about everyday.
The things you hope to do,
the things you hope to get...

Yes, it is difficult.
Who ever said it was going to be easy? :)
Nobody reaches their dreams without falling countless of times and getting back up, only to fall again.
Until one day, when all their mistakes have been learned and when everything is revealed,
.. I suppose there is no such thing.
After all, there is no finishing line in life, is there?
It never ever stops until, well..
you die.

Heh.

Sorry. Kinda got carried away there.

What I meant to say is that dreams aren't something that you should just think of everyday and put aside.. like its a illusion, a hopeless, impossible miracle.

Its not.

Nothing is impossible unless you limit yourself that way.
I only learned this much so far and yet I know there is so much more left for me to learn.

Dreams aren't something that are meant only for the talented and born-gifted people.
Dreams are something that anyone can have. Everyone.
Unless you do something about it, it certainly will remain an unreachable dream.


So keep at it.
Work hard.
Don't give up easily.
Keep your head up.
Smile.
Live.
Laugh.
Love.

Am I That Annoying To You?

Really?
We talk for less than 5 minutes, and suddenly you don't want to talk anymore.
We used to talk about everything .. and I mean EVERYTHING.
And now it just feels like we're strangers.
We have drifted really far away from each other, haven't we?

I must have been really annoying huh.

Well congratulations for successfully distancing yourself me.

Peering Out Into The Real World

Hi~
Okay.. so today, I went to the optical shop and re-adjusted my glasses. Now I feel a teensy weensy bit better I guess :/

doesn't matter.
So I was at the mall earlier today. Mid Valley. I love going to malls.
Malls have everything from food to fashion to any other household items you'd need.
Its also really great to see all the shoppers walking around in the mall.
I get to see the latest fashion/ everyone's different or unique taste.
I love seeing individualism. And I find that that's where I get to see them the most.

I also noticed how there are many couples walking around, cuddling (on the left as they should be) and smiling and other people being busy, walking briskly, while others are with friends and families.
And then I saw me.
Just me.
For the first time,
without judging if I was pretty or ugly, or smart or dumb, or worthless or worth it, or strong or weak.
I saw Rachel Tan.
I was shocked.

I saw a human. Who could do things some other people can't.
While others are having a happy love life, I had a happy family.
While some others were so busy, I was (you could say) quite free.
While some were upset, I was feeling fine.
While some people couldn't afford to eat, I could.
While some people were fat, I was average.
While some people had to beg for money, I could live well.

I saw that I was an average person totally capable of doing anything if I could just believe (Tribute to Whitney Houston's song  right here :D)

And I realized actually how much the world has been dirtied since some time ago.
More people are sinning: lying, robbing, raping, kidnapping, killing. Most of them without feeling the consequent remorse.
It really is shameful.
But then again, there are others who live as well as possible away from these things.
So I guess there are still some good in this world :)

Anyway,
That was a very VERY long unnecessary elaboration..
I was at the McD's waiting for the food to be served. (Since I was just sitting and not the one lining up :P)
And a little boy sat right next to me, with his small figure and huge eyes and long lashes and everything, he looked right at me.
And he was just SOOO darn CUTE! Though he was Malay, I'm not a racist so it doesn't really matter to me.

He was like staring at me for 30 seconds. And I did the same.
Then when his mum came, he pointed at me (while still looking at me) and said
"Cantik"

I was like:
Dumbfounded.
WOAH.
What.The. F.
Did he just call me pretty?

I was so happy.
He totally made my day.
If only he was older .. MUCH older, I would have fallen for him.
He's just SO FREAKIN adorable.
I still remember those huge eyes now :)

And so I realized how a simple word like that can make someone's day.
I just realized how selfish I have been all this time.
Keeping all my comments to myself and not letting people know about them,
I should.. especially when the are positive comments,
I want them to know it.

That they are worth it.
God made them just right.
And that they deserve everything.
As long as they work hard for it.

Therefore from today onwards, I'll try my best to tell people what I really think of them.
And not hide all the time (though I have to sometimes under certain circumstances)

This is what the real world is all about.
Cheating yourself, cheating others, or doing things to make this world a better place (tribute to Michael Jackson)

Good luck guys :)
Have a nice day and thanks for visiting.
xoxo