Goodbye Again :)

Hm.. I've been updating a lot recently..
But I'm sorry,
I won't be able to for some time again next week and after that because I've decided to focus on my studies..
No, I'm not saying I won't come back for a month or something like that,
its just gonna take longer for me to get back so..
yeah.
Goodbye.
OH!
And have a nice day ^^

Karma

Heey I'm back again.
I miss blogging and talking to.. well, literally, no one xD
But if there is someone, I would be glad :)

Anyway, so. About this karma.
I've been a little upset about the way people treat my honesty and loyalty these days.
For example, you have a sister or a friend that you are extremely close to,
and you've vowed never to tell her wrong doings or secrets to anyone.

She had never told you that she will do the same,
but you just assume she will because that's what best friends/sisters are for.

And all of a sudden,
without you noticing it,
she's gone behind your back and told everyone about your wrongdoings and lies and secrets.
Even though you've been keeping her secrets totally safe within you.
And you get all worked up and really mad because you wonder what in the world have you done to deserve this?

Nothing, of course.
Because you've always been the loyal one, the honest one, the caring one.
One day these things just hit you like a strong heat wave and it usually catches you unguarded.
You'll feel lost, depressed and most of all, angry.
But its not like you can do anything about it.

Its not like you should, in turn, go around telling everybody her secrets too.
Because that would make you just as ugly, distorted, annoying, disloyal and cunning as she is.
Its not like you have anyone else to tell this feeling of discontentment to either because she's really the only person you ever vent to.
So what do you do?

Here's my personal suggestion:

You wait.

For karma to strike back at her.
Don't get me wrong, I ain't cursing no one. Karma can be good or bad, depending on which position you're at.
You don't act repulsively. Stay calm and keep your mind distracted by doing things like watching a movie, or getting your homework done or surfing the net.
Time will pass by before you know it.

And if it takes karma too long to take its course,
don't worry.
The longer you wait, the harder the consequence will come down on her.

So what I'm trying to say is
don't ever do bad things. You try not too, since its impossible never to do bad things.
When you can, avoid doing them.

God (if you're a believer) will not punish the innocent, only the ones who have sinned and done wrong.

(If you're not a believer) They also say, what goes round comes around :)

WHEEE

Yeah hi there. Its been... 11 days since the last time I blogged.
I feel guilty for it and now it feels a little awkward to be blogging again X)
Anyway if you're reading this, thanks for stopping by my blog anyway.
I appreciate it.

I've just been so busy with my schedule in school and even back at home.
There seems to be exactly no time left for me to even blog anymore.
:( There are a terrible amount of things left for me to memorize now.
And yet, there is so little time

Pray for me?
I'll appreciate that a lot.
Life is a little difficult now because of school -.-
But I'm sure I'll get by and get used to it soon.
Thanks again for stopping by. See you next time.
Sayonara~

I'm So SO Tired

Lately, school has been a little bit of a drag.
School used to be so much fun.
Until the start of this year.
Homework. Tests. Homework. Tests. More homework. More revision.
And more tests.

Its like 24 hours aren't enough for a day.
I spent 1/3 of the day at school. The other third eating, taking a shower and doing my homework and revision.
And by the time I'm done with washing the dinner plates,
I have almost no time left for relaxation time.

Seriously.
I'm tired.
I want my old life back.
But I know it can never happen.
How childish it is for me to even think like that in the first place.

I just..
I need... some time off every now and then.
But I can't bring myself to because this is Form 4 and I need to put in more focus and concentration than usual.
Plus, its not like my mum'll let me cool off so often anyway.

So.. I'm forced to..
feel pressured?

The Youngest Member Crisis

I'm blogging this here because I don't know where else to confide in.
I swear that I don't want to hear any sad songs for the next month or so.
To any one who knows me who's reading this, I beg you not to vent to me for a while. OR talk about anything depressing.

If the family respect and listens to the father,
And the siblings listen to the mother,
The younger sibling respect the elder sibling,
Then who listens to the youngest?
No one, right?

Who cares about what the one with least authority thinks?
Does anyone actually care at all?
If I say something,and actually truthfully and honestly mean it,
They would probably still think that I'm spreading lies, wouldn't they?
What more can I do if they won't believe me?
What else is there that I can do if no one understands me?!

Every single one of my close friends are NOT the younger sibling,
And they wouldn't understand what I'm feeling right now.
It isn't fair if everyone considers it their right to lecture you or even to put the blame on you every chance they get.
It's not fair at all.

Who is, after all, fair, in this world?
In this filthy world where only the pretty and knowledgeable and strong and sociable people matter?
Who else matters? Would someone like me matter?
If I don't matter in this family,
Then how can I be even a speck of dust in this world?