This is stupid.
I am stupid.
How could I be so stupid?
I am tired already. Mentally. I mean, I'm not ready to break down yet but I'm exhausting myself everyday. Yet, there are others who are so much more hardworking and miserable than I am.
It's a fact. We are all afraid. That's why we're trying so hard to make sure that these feelings of fear will not be in vain.
Won't it though?
No one knows for sure.
Also, I am in guilt.
I have done something wrong.
Thus I vow never to do it again.
No. It is not right.
It's not right to go around breaking people's hearts just because you want to try something different.
At least, not with the sensitive kind of people.
I will not make the same mistake again.
And finally.
Sigh.
Do I even need to mention it?
It is more obvious than not.
I swear. Maybe it's just me. But it's always been this way.
Whether 4 years ago, or even now,
I'm always... ALWAYS ignored.
I'm tired of that.
I hate it.
I don't really care if I'm ignored by everyone else, but you -
You. You who say you care for me.
Yet you ignore me.
How am I to believe you?
How could I?
Dumb as I could be, I cannot be THAT dumb.
Your acknowledgement of me is worse than that of air.
You never care.
That's what your actions are screaming out.
You don't care.
But you say you do still.
Don't lie.
What good can it do anyway?
Just tell me the truth. And let's settle this. Once and for all.
I don't mind if you just tell it to me.
Just please don't leave me here hanging by a thread.
I hate this waiting.
I've waited long enough.
I know you suck at guessing.
But I've already told you the problem here that eats me up within.
All you have to do is just tell me the truth. Just ONCE.
I will step away if need be.
And it shall be the end of every thing we ever had and shared.
Even if my heart still longs for your company.
