Beautiful

I used to think love was disgusting and I didn't need it to live this life.

It was an extra thing in life that you can choose whether or not to have it.

But now sigh. I feel dumbfounded.

I'm willing to share my love to anybody.

Because I want to help them.

But I wonder: will anyone do the same for me?

I can go about it for ages.

Just giving and giving and giving.

Will I ever receive though?

Love is so beautiful.

True love is beautiful.

No matter how you appear, love can change you. In and out.

And I'm sad to say I'm jealous.

Of people I see walking on the streets together.

I get envious.

I shouldn't be.

Because I know now's not the time at all.. to fall in love.

But I'm jealous of the beauty it shows. It outshines everyone else's.

I'm afraid actually.

I'm afraid I'll live to a ripe old age without a partner.

Or maybe die young without having to experience that love.

I'm afraid of death.

More importantly, I'm afraid of God.

I think deep down everyone's heart, they do fear death. And God.

No matter how they deny it.

Its the same with love.

We deny them because we don't want to accept the fact that one day we're gonna have to face that.

Death. Love. God.

They're both terrifying yet pleasing and full of warmth.

Death means the end of your life. But it also means the end of your suffering here on Earth.

Love means you hurt real bad. But it also protects you from harm and keep your heart at ease.

God. God can wipe out the world in an instant. But He is also a warm, fair, loving, amazing, indescribable God. Like a mother, like a father.

I wonder when my time will come.

Is it near?

When will I fall in love?

When will I die?

When will I finally be able to speak with you?

Everything.. is beautiful.