Am I Dense?

Haha xD

No.Really.
Am I?

My sister says I am.. and so does my dad..
Cause I kept saying no guy likes me.
And they'll go all like "Liar."

But really?
I don't think so.
Because obviously I'm not the type of person anyone would want to have their teenage crush on.
I'm way too cool, mysterious, 'mature', and indifferent that no one would want to give shit about me.

Though it IS true that I've been changing lately..
or maybe I already have changed.
I'm starting to open up more.. about my self. I try to be nicer to others.
And ultimately, I try my best to smile more often too. (since some people used to say that I look too serious all the time)

I HAVE.
And now.
Because I'm more open-minded, and accepting,
I ended up making a terrible mistake. A mistake that I regret. And hope I won't fall too deep into.

:/
Though I kinda feel that I'm already halfway through that black hole..
that black hole that most people would call 'infatuation'.
Or crush.
Or like.
Or love.

Yeah you guessed right.
I fell for someone.
And its SO not like me to be the one doing the chasing.
But I am.
Cause I'm the type of person who always plays hard to get.
Now I'M the one going around trying to catch hold of some other guy who also has the tendency to play hard to get.
Well, since he won't budge much...
two of us can't both be ignoring each other now, can we?

SO. That's how I ended up in this situation. *weeps*
I feel terrible. It was all because I allowed myself to get attracted to him in the first place.
At the beginning, I was just like "Oh he's kinda cute. I guess it wouldn't hurt to know more about him.."
Then I DID get to know him better,

and without knowing it, I was actually falling for him already.
One day I just found myself so frustrated because he wouldn't talk much.
Which shouldn't be a surprise since we had only recently met.
But it DID get me upset.
And when I realized I was,
I thought to myself. WHY WAS I UPSET?
I had no reason to be.


Then I realized that there had to be a reason.
And there was only one thought that could clear it all up.
I liked him.
And THEN I got extra frustrated because I swore I wouldn't fall for another guy again.
But I did.

...

Anyway Its just really difficult liking someone in high school, isn't it?
Since both sides are still young and naive, we get our hearts broken easily and we break others' just as easily too :/

I knew I should have never been interested in him.

I led myself right into a trap.

And now I'm caught.
With no way out until the end.