Who Am I

Am I an outcast?

Or am I favored?

Am I pretty? Or ugly?

Am I smart or pretending to be?

Am I generous or cruel?

Who am I?

There are so many things I know that I am.

But they oppose one another.

And there; there is a person in my mind, an illusionary fiction that will never become a fact.

And once again.

My wish is still not granted.

all would be good if I had unlimited patience.

I could wait and wait.. forever..

and even when my wish is never granted,

I am fine.

Because I can wait.

But.

No. In reality, that is impossible.

I'm tired of waiting.

When will it come?

The day when I'm treated fairly.

When I can truly smile again.

When darkness is my aid; not my burden as it is now.

And when the light is my platform, not just a desire.

Nobody sees this part of me.

Not my mother, not my sister, not my father, not my best friend, not anyone.

I can tell them on and on and on till I can't anymore.

And the next moment, it will be gone from their mind.

So I find it of no use anymore.

I keep wanting to be that person in my dreams.

But lately, I know I can never be.

I keep telling myself to just give up and be free

but my heart won't listen.

It defies me.

What do I do?

I'm lost in the middle of nowhere.

No one is here.

Nobody.

Sure.. there are people around me who look like they care or maybe they really do.

But they don't make an effort to help. At all.

So all that's left is me

and God.

I've prayed since forever.

Lord,

have you ever heard my prayer?