Him

His words.
His attention.
His care.
His worry.
His jealousy.
Everything.
They calm me down. They make me feel better.
Make me feel loved.
Like I'm actually worth something.

But, what if, all these are just illusions I created for myself?
What if they were all never real? What if I made them seem like they were real?
What then?

I don't want any complications.
I don't want this to end up hurting both of us.
Why can't I be certain for once?
I need to know what this really is.
I want it to be real. Really.
But I can't change a fact, can I?
The problem is, I don't know what this fact is..
And I'm really frustrated because I really really really want to know.

This HAS to be real.
It has to.