Heart_Motivation

Sunday, February 5, 2012

The Youngest Member Crisis

I'm blogging this here because I don't know where else to confide in.
I swear that I don't want to hear any sad songs for the next month or so.
To any one who knows me who's reading this, I beg you not to vent to me for a while. OR talk about anything depressing.

If the family respect and listens to the father,
And the siblings listen to the mother,
The younger sibling respect the elder sibling,
Then who listens to the youngest?
No one, right?

Who cares about what the one with least authority thinks?
Does anyone actually care at all?
If I say something,and actually truthfully and honestly mean it,
They would probably still think that I'm spreading lies, wouldn't they?
What more can I do if they won't believe me?
What else is there that I can do if no one understands me?!

Every single one of my close friends are NOT the younger sibling,
And they wouldn't understand what I'm feeling right now.
It isn't fair if everyone considers it their right to lecture you or even to put the blame on you every chance they get.
It's not fair at all.

Who is, after all, fair, in this world?
In this filthy world where only the pretty and knowledgeable and strong and sociable people matter?
Who else matters? Would someone like me matter?
If I don't matter in this family,
Then how can I be even a speck of dust in this world?

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Little Sweetheart

To you who is far away and unimaginable,

To you who makes the sun shine just a little brighter each day,

To you whose existence will complete me.

Life is not the same without you,

they say one day we shall meet

it shall be planned,

or maybe by divine intervention.

But that doesn't really matter.

I just wonder if your smile will take my breath away,

if you're all I need for living,

if you look even better than those cuckoos dancing and singing on tv.

If you're love itself.

It is not the right time.

I wonder when it shall be.

When we will finally be able to come face to face,

the day that comfort is found,

the day that love is found,

in my little sweetheart~

Sunday, January 22, 2012

I Should Just

Go to hell.

Friday, January 13, 2012

The Sad Peaceful Day

The first day of the year that people are sad.
Well, most people anyway, including me.
I guess the more emotional ones will feel it.
Animals are in pain, humans are in despair, even the sky cried for us tonight.
Something is definitely missing.
Something I don't know.

I have people who would listen.
But no one with proper advice. And no one who would care enough to comfort me.
I'm almost like trash.
Except I'm human.
And.. since I'm human,
I'm sure there are still some useful things left in me.

I hope I can put those into good use.
And ignore every insult that comes across me.
Ignore what everyone thinks about me behind my back.
Because.
There's no one left to trust out there in this filthy unfair and depressing world.

I can only trust myself.
So,
it shall be.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The Things You Make Me Do

You make me sigh just at the thought of you,
You make me so insanely happy just from a simple 'hello'.
I am elated when I see you smiling.
I go crazy because I have plenty of fantasies of things I'd do with you.
I can't get enough of admiring you.
You make me think that there might be a perfect person in this world after all.
You make me defy logic and do things I thought I'd never do.
You make me still keep my feelings for you even when God has told me they wouldn't last.

I've had this feeling before.
I just know this wouldn't last... but,
I'm still liking you.
I don't want to.
But I am.

I know I'll never reach you,
but I'm still hopelessly wishing that one day, you would notice me.
And realize how much this really means to me.
And yet, I know you won't.
Because you don't have the time for me.
You don't even look at me,
I'm forced into the paradox I created on my own.

I regret it very much.
If only I could turn back time..
I wouldn't have fallen for the one before.
Because I only liked you to get over the other.
But before I knew it, I fell once again,
in the illusion we all know
as love.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Our Wayward Story

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Why are some people just so naturally ANNOYING?

They really get on my nerves.
Those people that correct your every mistake.
That points out your flaws indirectly but makes sure you know it even though you already do.
That insults you behind your back but make sure you know about that TOO.
They think their OH-SO-GOOD at English. Like they are a god. And that they have every right to correct your grammar even though it was just a typo.
And they always say 'Oh I'm not smart' but they are not saying it because they feel burdened or anything, but because they want you to feel WORSE than you already are.
And they criticize you for even the littlest thing you make a mistake on.
They act like you're their bestest closest buddy when their down or need something from you, but in actual fact, when they DON'T need you, they diss you and hang with the 'better' people.

I MEAN.
WHAT IS THEIR PROBLEM?

Can't they stick to one path?
Don't they get tired of getting around all the time?
Must they hurt people like this?
No wait.
ARE THEY BORN THIS WAY LADY GAGA?

UGH. I'm so mad.
I hate them I hate them I hate them!

And the worst thing is that even though they stink and suck and are just a load of crap,
I still want to be their friend.
I still want to get to know them better.

Damn.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM?