Helping/Donating/Giving

I never realized how just flashing a smile and saying "Thank you" can make someone's day.

I didn't know telling someone "You're pretty" can build up their confidence.

I thought every 'good' thing we did was just to improve our own image.

Be a mannered person.

But I was wrong.

I was really really wrong.

What in the world was I thinking?

Was I stupid?

I experienced it.

I needed so much for someone to say "You're nice, awesome. Pretty"

I needed encouragement so badly, that my heart hurt for it.

And when I'd finally gotten it,

I felt all my burden being washed away smoothly and calmly.

The person I'd never thought would praise me, did it.

The person I'd thought would have done it, didn't do it.

And I realized how important every single thing you do and say in your life means to someone else.

It can sting that person, but it can also heal a person.

At the beginning, all I wanted to do was to go to heaven.

So I wanted to be a good girl, obey every damn thing I heard was right.

But now... its not the same anymore.

What's the use of going to heaven, when really, I don't deserve it?

I didn't do anything worth going to heaven for.

I wasn't good. I was ACTING good.

The qualification, as far as I know, is to BE good.

And that is what I want to be.

Instead of pitying myself, I want to help others.

I know I'm not alone out there.

I know many people need help.

People who might die without that help.

Here I am : rotting away in my room, when others are dying out in the open.

What sense does that make?

Just helping, can help a bankrupt company return to it's original state.

Just donating, can keep a person away from his/her death.

Just giving, can heal a heart.

What are you waiting for?

Don't rot your life away. Its such a waste.

Remember.

You were given this life for a REASON.

To be happy and to HELP others to be happy.

God bless all =)

(Watch 1 Litre of Tears- It will change the way you think. Forever)

Unclear

I guess I'm at that point in life when everything's a blur.

I just can't seem to fully understand anything.

Whether its simple or complex.

Its all the same.

Friendship: I have no idea who really are my friends. And who are not.

Puppy Love (?) : Is it really? I don't know.

Family: How am I supposed to react to their kindness and affection? Do I really act like I appreciate them anyway?

General decisions: I can't tell between what's right and what's wrong. Most of the time, I end up choosing the latter.

I want to be able to be independent.

Why is that so hard?

Why can't I stop doing all the wrong things,

and be good?

Why can't I accept things just the way they are?

Why am I so selfish; always craving for more.

Why can't I just give up on the past?

Why do I still want the attention even though its so clear to me that I'll never be able to get it?

Why do I shed tears upon that?

Why is it that no one cares when that happens?

Why?

Meaning of Education, Confidence, and Talent

I believe no definition can truly define these.

Not in a million years.

These are things that are beyond the capacity of the human thoughts.

No one truly understands it. No one is perfect.

Yet.

God created us. Or whatever you believe in; here we are.

We were BORN with talent.

We BUILD our confidence along the way,

and Education is something that should be our goal.

What will you do without a goal?

That is how we, teenagers, keep drifting away from the right path.

I mean, sure we have pressures from our peer, parents, life, love, relationships, homework and God knows what.

But, were we created to lose to these mundane problems?

Fact: NOT.

Its obviously a fact.

So we should be a better person.

Make ourselves a better future.

Persevere. To survive in the battle.

That is what life's all about.

If you indulge in all the wrong things,

you lose everything.

Education, confidence, people, trust, and you will kill your talent in you,

because you never gave it a chance to shine.

And you shut it out.

Awareness.

We must be aware.

Think before we speak.

Learn to understand things in a rational and critical way before reacting.

Put yourselves in others' shoes.

Smile. And the rest of the world will smile along with you.

Be happy.

In short:

Take the chances,

Live happy =)

Something Bout Believing

The first step in everything is to have faith

to trust.

to believe.

Without it, you can't go anywhere. You won't be able to.

As we grow older, we all tend to get very suspicious of things

therefore not trusting things we're supposed to and trusting the one we're not supposed to.

I can't help but think little kids are like angels.

They're annoying in a good way

and they know better than anyone else what love and attention and trust really is.

I want to be a 'someone' worth being with.

That was all I ever wanted.

That was why I wanted to change all the time.

That's why I was not satisfied being thrown to the corner.

I wanted to be with you because..

I don't know. You felt special.

But now you just feel .. different than what you were before.

Instead of being special and different,

I realize you're just condemning yourself,

searching for ways to make you different from the others.

To make yourself special.

In other words, you're radiating arrogance.

I know you're normal.

Why are you making things so difficult?

Trust in what's right.

Don't go too far from the right path.

I hope you'll see the damage you're REALLY causing to yourself.

And how there really are THAT many people who sincerely care.

I might not be one of them

but seeing you like that,

fills me with disgust.

And pity.

I can't stand it.

Everyone who falls eventually gets up again.

They have to.

SO why are you staying flat on the ground?

Unexpected Encounter

Ugh. I dislike things that are unexpected.

Cause they frighten me and I'm not sure if I'll be able to take 'em on.

Yes, call me a coward. I don't mind.

I've already acknowledged that fact.

Cherie you're so nice :)

I never knew and I misjudged you. I know you're not lying.

Cause to me, everyone lies about who they really are.

I know because I do and I know so many other people who do too.

Thanks for saying what you did.

You made me feel good about myself for just that moment.

That I wasn't tossed aside in that school after all.

That some people actually care and like me for who I am.

Thanks. Really. ILY :)

Another unexpected thing happened and its things that happened in my dreams.

I know dreams don't really come true.

But when you have these dreams- or me, specifically- it usually happens in a beat-around-the-bush way in reality.

I keep dreaming about guys now. Its soo weird.

Bloggy you understand right?

But those guys don't like-like me, they're my friend.

Okay. Yeah. Like my really close friend,

like the kind of friend who would do just about anything for you that I haven't had so far.

It felt good.

But.

Damn it all, I woke up. So yeah. Wish I could've slept forever.

I hate reality.

You wake up, get busy, and you do all sorts of things that make you feel exhausted and tired at the end of the day because they totally fill up your schedule.

Every last bit of it.

I hardly have time to have fun anymore or to smile and laugh at jokes or crack jokes.

I have this stern and emo face that people keep pointing out.

But to me, that's just a face to conceal my real emotion.

I'm sad and lonely and tired.

I want and need someone to revive me. To make me new again.

I'm not dead. And I know I'm not dying physically but I feel like I'm wilting on the inside.

I need something.

Anything.

Anybody.

Spice me up.

Glad?

Glad that I'm busy.

Busy enough to get any problems rid off.

I dislike too much drama.

But being busy is just so tiring.

Guess everything has its pros and cons.

Still, I prefer it this way.

I would work until I can't move a single inch any longer.

Until the day I die :)

Swaying Heart

I keep telling myself to forget about you.

But just a simple word from you,

will turn all my hard convincing to vain.

Why won't you leave me alone?

You know we won't last.

And I'm not worth your wait.

I'm so, so sorry.

Because even though I know this will hurt you,

I still went on with it.

I know you'll never forgive me.

But I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.